Really bored at work, and since i was in total stoner unproductive mode, i decided to start reading all my friend’s blogs and catch up on what i’ve been missing about their lives.
So i was just reading Baby’s blog and most of it had something to do with Jerome. Sometimes i really envy her, having such a stable relationship with someone she loves who loves her back the same. Even though they have their fair share of problems sometimes, and many times she’ll be crying and talking to me over msn, once in a while even on the phone, where i’ll desperately try to make her laugh. She’s the one who always wanted to settle down early and have many kids. She is exactly the kind of girl who would enjoy such a life, and truly deserve it. I love this girl, she’s one of the people who i would go to immediately when i have problems. I’ll even text her early in the morning asking her if she’s online so i can bug her with my crazy negative thoughts.
Recently i was just talking to her about recent things, and she told me that my negativity towards relationship matters was so strong that it affects her, not by making her negative as well, but making her feel the need to tell me to be happy and optimistic. I’m sorry baby.
I got cynical and things that were once beautiful and sweet to me became things i take time to dissect and input negativity into. Things that i could readily enjoy before, made me question and wonder.
Saturday night, we were talking about gf/bf issues, and we got into why people stop doing things for each other, stop being kind to each other and how they could bite the hand that feeds them. That is just human nature, but i’m deadly afraid of meeting someone who could be really nice to me from the start but slowly lose the effort to be nice and starts taking things for granted. Afraid, because i know i will remember the ‘good times’ and ask for more. More, so much more that we’ll kill what we feel for each other.
Every girl goes through a phase in life where they want to settle down with someone they love and have kids. Who wouldn’t want to have their own place whereby they can select every tile and colour, where you can designate one room just for books and dvds. I want that too, but i dont want to have to go through the pain to reach that stage. I think i got selfish too.
Aww baby.. U’re damn damn sweet lahh.
Anyway, baby, I believe tat u deserve the kind of happiness I am having now as well because u suffered long enough. U had enough of meeting the wrong ones.. U must be positive k! Else both will suffer.. Be happy be happy! I will see u soon enough. Probably next week k? I try arrange..
I will try to be positive! Lately, i’ve been happy despite meeting annoying candidates and crazy people, haha. SEE ME SOON!! You always say see me soon but bluff me